In 2011 there needs to be some changes. Changes in the way many of us act, think, and feel. Changes in the way some of us dress, present ourselves in public, and most definitely changes in how we treat one another. With no further ado here are The 10 Things You Not Gone Do in 2011.
What you not gone do is …
10. Wear things that are meant to sleep in/lounge around the house out in public. Example: pajama pants, head scarves, rollers, acne medicine, etc. Doesn’t matter if you are running to the store for a quick second, please take the time to go out in public dressed appropriately. And for the record Uggs and pajama pants is not a trend, it’s not cute, and you look RIDICULOUS!
9. Facebook front. Don’t get on Facebook talking about what you have when you really don’t have it. There are people on there who know you in real life and they’re ready to call you on that BS you posted last night. You ain’t got to lie to kick it!
8. Try to live like a celebrity. Some of us look ridiculous trying to buy the things celebrities have with the budget we have. I overheard a conversation in Walmart and a woman was reading about Sheree from the ROHA and her Aston Martin. The woman said she was going to save up to buy her an Aston Martin. *BBM blank stare* One thing said makes it safe to say that you don’t have the money or the lifestyle that can afford you such luxuries, “save up.” Do you and stop trying to be the Cincinnati version of a RHOA.
7. Walk around the mall, grocery store, or department store screaming obscenities when you yourself are a hot ghetto mess. You need not draw any additional attention to yourself.
6. Quote people like Ralph Waldo Emerson, Friedrich Nietzsche, and Ralph Ellison knowing you have no clue who any of the aforementioned are. Oh and STOP quoting from other people without using “quotation marks”. You didn’t come up with that, it’s not yours, give credit where credit is due.
5. Put a status update using all abbreviations, none of which actually exist. I don’t know if I’m reading Enlgish, French, or Spanish. “What good do your words do when they can’t understand you?” E. Badu (see #6).
4. Talk like you text. LOL, OMG, and STHU are cool for text messaging, but if you want to laugh out loud please laugh out loud. If something surprises you say Oh My God, don’t scream OMG! These types of things are meant to give more expression to the words that you type because the person cannot see your face. We’re losing the art of conversation.
3. Wear a tacky, tattered, unbeweaveable, or colorful weave. Look weave is cool, I wear it and I wear it often. However, I draw the line at anything that looks plastic and stuck to my head, not a color that one can actually be born with such as pink or orange, or tracks and glue showing. If you walk out the house looking like an Easter egg basket, a birds nest, or a black hefty bag has been layered on your head remove the weave ASAP and slap the hell out of the person who put that crap in your head!
(check out I Am Not My Hair and draw your own conclusion. http://nicole-aworkinprogress.blogspot.com/2010/12/i-am-not-my-hair.html)
2. Put all your business on Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, or any other social networking site. It’s not cool to air all your marital, relationship, job/career problems on Facebook. Seriously deal with that mess off of Facebook and with that person with whom you have the problem with. Otherwise you may find yourself dealing with a bigger problem-divorce, separation, alone, and in the unemployment line.
1. Keep talking me to death. For the last several years people have been saying what they are going to do with no action behind it. What ever “it” is, JUST DO IT ALREADY!
There are several that I wanted to include, but didn’t. These are the 10 that I found were heavily carried out in 2010, 2 of which I know I am an offender. If you all have some, please add them in the comment section.
I wish you all much peace, prosperity and many blessings in the upcoming year.
Be safe and responsible tonight. Happy New Year World!
Nicole
12.31.2010
12.27.2010
Staying Connected: Kids and Cell Phones
Okay call me ‘over protective’ my son may have been one of the last kids in the world to get a cell phone. However in my defense, what does a 9 year old need with a cell phone, I mean seriously. His dad and I take him every where he needs to go, are at all his practices/games, we have a home phone, and really what in the world does a 9 year old talk on the phone about? My son being the creative calculating (I mean that in the non-devious good way) kid that he is had every reason in the world as to why he “needed” a cell phone. He’d say “cell phones are cool, all of my friends already have cell phones, I’m the only one in the 4th grade without one, it would help me focus on school work because I wouldn’t have to talk in class-I could just tell my friends to call me on my cell phone after school.” He even gave some logical reasons such as, “it will allow me to call when I’m over a friend’s house, if you or dad have to leave practice and it ends early, or I can use it in an emergency.”
Now some of what my son said was true, cell phones are great for emergencies but most of his logic was that of a 9 year old and shaky at best. I mean seriously did he think I was buying a cell phone just because they are cool? Now all that having been said it seemed like every time I turned around something would happen that proved why he really did need a cell phone. Recently a story of a friend’s son in a terrible situation where no phone was available and him having to text his mother to come and get him out of that situation was the breaking point for me. Although my son would never be in a situation such as the one my friend’s son was in, it got me to thinking about other situations my son could be in where a cell phone would not only be helpful but possibly life saving. However, this is 2010 and not 1987; kids these days have a lot more to deal with than I did when I was 9. There is so much to worry about in regards to raising healthy, productive kids, intelligent that I didn’t want to add cyber bullying or sexting to my ‘Things to Worry About List’. While hesitant standing in line to get the phone on the eve of Christmas Eve, I conceded and got him a cell phone. Now anyone who knows me knows I am a stickler for rules and rules being followed. My son has a chore/homework chart which outlines the days and times chores/homework need to be finished, complete with incentives and consequences. So it was no different when it came to his cell phone and use of his cell phone. Below you will find the contract my son has regarding his cell phone use.
Cell Phone Contract
Now some of what my son said was true, cell phones are great for emergencies but most of his logic was that of a 9 year old and shaky at best. I mean seriously did he think I was buying a cell phone just because they are cool? Now all that having been said it seemed like every time I turned around something would happen that proved why he really did need a cell phone. Recently a story of a friend’s son in a terrible situation where no phone was available and him having to text his mother to come and get him out of that situation was the breaking point for me. Although my son would never be in a situation such as the one my friend’s son was in, it got me to thinking about other situations my son could be in where a cell phone would not only be helpful but possibly life saving. However, this is 2010 and not 1987; kids these days have a lot more to deal with than I did when I was 9. There is so much to worry about in regards to raising healthy, productive kids, intelligent that I didn’t want to add cyber bullying or sexting to my ‘Things to Worry About List’. While hesitant standing in line to get the phone on the eve of Christmas Eve, I conceded and got him a cell phone. Now anyone who knows me knows I am a stickler for rules and rules being followed. My son has a chore/homework chart which outlines the days and times chores/homework need to be finished, complete with incentives and consequences. So it was no different when it came to his cell phone and use of his cell phone. Below you will find the contract my son has regarding his cell phone use.
Cell Phone Contract
- Cell phone CANNOT be taken to school, used before homework/chores.
- All Contacts in the Phone Book must be approved by Mom or Dad
- No Phone calls/text messages after 9pm unless to mom/dad
- Your Plan has ___ minutes a month, this includes text messages.
- You will pay $___ for monthly minutes.
- No cell phone during any meals or during family time.
- You may not use the internet or send pictures through text messaging.
- If asked to turn off/stop playing/get off cell phone, must do so immediately.
- When at home you will only use the home phone instead of cell phone to make calls.
- When out with friends will always have cell phone with you and ‘on’ so mom and dad can reach you if needed. If mom/dad calls you MUST answer immediately. If you miss the call you MUST call back as soon as you realize mom/dad called. called.
- DO NOT answer calls or text messages from numbers not in ‘APPROVED’ contact list.
- If the phone is lost/stolen/damaged you will be responsible for buying a new phone, phones start at $29.
- Voicemail is to remain on the standard greeting and mom/dad will check ALL messages.
Consequences Phone privileges can be removed for a day up to a month (only to be used in an emergency).
- Phone will be taken away for the following reasons:
- grades fall below a “B” in any subject (this includes specials)
- phone is taken to school (unless approved by mom/dad)
- You do not complete chores/homework
- sends a picture message/gets on the internet/sends inappropriate text messages
Trial period and Reevaluation of privileges
- This is a 3-month trial period, if all rules are followed for thirty days, mom and dad may reevaluate contract and increase the number of minutes.
- This contract will be reevaluated every six months as you get older to possibly receive additional phone privileges.
Signing this contract means you agree to and will follow all rules above.
______________________________________________ ______________
______________________________________________ ______________
Now this is my way of protecting my son against possible dangers/threats when it comes to using a cell phone at such an early age as well as teaching him responsibility while adding a sense of security and convenience for his dad and me. Some may believe having a contract is over-kill, but I look at my son’s safety as the #1 priority as should all parents and setting these parameters will help him to see that.
What’s good for the goose is not always good for the gander so do what works for you. I believe all children need to be reminded daily on parental expectations, I just don’t believe in beating into my son. I write it, we discuss it, sign it, and post it. If rules are broken we go back to it and I ask what he didn’t understand and consequences follow. Children must be held accountable but if they forget (as they will) what they are being held accountable for whose to blame the child or the parent? If they can see it everyday then they know and there are NO excuses because they knew the consequence ahead of time. Whether that consequence is a good old fashion 'spanking' (trying to be politically correct), loss of video game, television, or phone privileges that's up to the parent, but whatever it is let the punishment fit the crime.
Whatever you choose to do in regards to getting your child a cell phone, please do some research on the phone and the company and talk to your child about your expectations.
Love, Live, Life
Nicole
Love, Live, Life
Nicole
12.26.2010
Unspoken Truths
We sit side by side four walls closing in,
investing emotions in silent conversations,
not stocks or dividends.
Just fault, nameless issues
and truths we can’t speak.
It seems that
we’ve lost touch,
we’ve lost reach.
Kind of like an unexpected disaster
or breach of contract when we don’t
know what’s next and dare not imagine
the day after when the tension fills the air.
Yet I feel you don’t care and you feel my
baggage is crowding your space,
but we’ve remained silent so long that the
space between us has now extended into miles.
The distance has caused me to raise my voice
because you’re not listening to me.
Seems you only listen when my voice appears to wear a smile.
Getting restless, you leave the room for a while.
Suppressing what’s to come next.
Silent conversations leave me exhausted and breathless.
Tired of smiling when I want to scream,
can’t find words to say what I mean.
Tried to focus but everything has become a
distraction and my reaction to your lack of
compassion is to express my distress and
not care what comes after.
Piecing my feelings together,
but I’m biting my tongue just to keep us together,
but trust me when I say I want to make it last forever.
Faded pictures, broken glass shatters,
nothing even matters, gave so much of
me that I feel scattered and abated.
Tongue tired, verbally frustrated and
I hate that I look at us and feel we have not yet made it.
Bottling up frustration, losing variation when
words contain no inspiration and now the
desperation has set in, welcomed itself as my friend.
And you know misery loves company so he invited
depression on in.
Not knowing what else to do I welcomed them both,
and their growth in me increased and I began losing sleep.
Depression was always knocking at my door wanting
more and desperation well he never left,
kicked his shoes off, laid up on my couch and this
negro even made himself breakfast.
Yet we still sit side by side, four walls closing in,
investing emotions in silent conversations,
not stocks or dividends.
Just fault, nameless issues, and truths we can’t speak.
Yet, when I write then recite this piece,
you don’t take heed to what you’ve just heard.
You’ll instead believe these are just pronouns,
metaphors, and verbs for yet another poem
that I decided to write after one of our silent fights.
I hope you were entertained.
Nicole Williams 09'
investing emotions in silent conversations,
not stocks or dividends.
Just fault, nameless issues
and truths we can’t speak.
It seems that
we’ve lost touch,
we’ve lost reach.
Kind of like an unexpected disaster
or breach of contract when we don’t
know what’s next and dare not imagine
the day after when the tension fills the air.
Yet I feel you don’t care and you feel my
baggage is crowding your space,
but we’ve remained silent so long that the
space between us has now extended into miles.
The distance has caused me to raise my voice
because you’re not listening to me.
Seems you only listen when my voice appears to wear a smile.
Getting restless, you leave the room for a while.
Suppressing what’s to come next.
Silent conversations leave me exhausted and breathless.
Tired of smiling when I want to scream,
can’t find words to say what I mean.
Tried to focus but everything has become a
distraction and my reaction to your lack of
compassion is to express my distress and
not care what comes after.
Piecing my feelings together,
but I’m biting my tongue just to keep us together,
but trust me when I say I want to make it last forever.
Faded pictures, broken glass shatters,
nothing even matters, gave so much of
me that I feel scattered and abated.
Tongue tired, verbally frustrated and
I hate that I look at us and feel we have not yet made it.
Bottling up frustration, losing variation when
words contain no inspiration and now the
desperation has set in, welcomed itself as my friend.
And you know misery loves company so he invited
depression on in.
Not knowing what else to do I welcomed them both,
and their growth in me increased and I began losing sleep.
Depression was always knocking at my door wanting
more and desperation well he never left,
kicked his shoes off, laid up on my couch and this
negro even made himself breakfast.
Yet we still sit side by side, four walls closing in,
investing emotions in silent conversations,
not stocks or dividends.
Just fault, nameless issues, and truths we can’t speak.
Yet, when I write then recite this piece,
you don’t take heed to what you’ve just heard.
You’ll instead believe these are just pronouns,
metaphors, and verbs for yet another poem
that I decided to write after one of our silent fights.
I hope you were entertained.
Nicole Williams 09'
12.22.2010
I Am Not My Hair
This blog came as a result of a recent conversation with several women, some natural and some who rocked the creamy crack.
Over the last several years I've seen more and more of sistas going natural, throwing away the creamy crack and embracing their natural curl and texture. Going natural can be difficult, trust me I know. I've attempted it almost ten times now and every time I relax my hair I swear it’s the last time. After seeing Chris Rock's “Good Hair” and seeing what relaxer can do to a Coke can and hearing the stories of what the caustic cream can do to one's scalp should be enough for anyone to stop using. However, it's just not that easy, having attempted and going as fair as cutting all my hair off I was successful only once and that was by default. Default because I was pregnant with my first child and I was told you cannot relax while you’re pregnant because the chemicals will hurt the baby. 9 years and two kids later I know that is not true.
I love that so many African American women are going natural. I can now go to websites to see beautiful African American women share tips on how to go natural. When I went natural over 9 years ago there were not many sites where one could go to get advice. However, if you now type “natural hair care” in your computer's browser hundreds of sites come up. I have several friends who are natural and if I have a question I know I can call, text, or Facebook them and ask. There are blogs about women who have recently begun their journey. They blog that first big chop to cut the relaxer out, the first wash with the natural hair, and even demonstrate how to use products, how to twist, loc, braid, and curl natural hair. And while it’s rare occasionally you may even see a natural sista in a video, in a commercial, or in a non-ethnic magazine.
While I love, cheer for, and even admire all the sistas who are going natural. I also understand that being natural is not something that all women want. There are those women who swear their natural hair is “much too thick, too curly, too unruly, or just too difficult” to deal with. Some women like me have gone natural by default or have gone natural but couldn’t find the right products. There are those women who say “I just like my hair straight and my natural hair would never get this straight” and therefore they faithfully relax their hair every 4-6 weeks. Whatever the reasons, these women like myself choose to relax.
I don’t care how you wear your hair, weave it til you achieve, sew it til you grow it, be happy to be nappy but please, please, please don’t judge another woman because she is not doing what you think is best. This is what makes us so wonderful and diverse. Many (NOT ALL) natural sistas want it to be known that they are natural and are eager to share their journey, while sharing that journey they like to tell you the dangers of the creamy crack. I wonder do they know that many (NOT ALL) sistas who choose to chemically relax their hair don’t really want to know what they are putting on their scalps. I wonder do they know that many of us know what’s in the cream, but really don’t care; we are only interested in getting our hair straight “by any means necessary.” And yes sometimes that means getting burnt and sometimes damaging our hair-we know all the possible outcomes and still choose to relax, why? Because it comes with the territory.
And while those of us who chemically relax may not want to hear about what danger lie inside the box of relaxer we also don’t want to be made to feel less black, less authentic, less accepted by natural sistas. Relaxing doesn’t mean that I hate myself or for some reason that I am trying be white. It only means that I want my hair straight. Now I’ve been to some of these natural sites and I’ve spoken to many women who choose to wear their hair natural. Many of these sites advise that while you are transitioning that it’s okay to wear a weave, wig, or braids-how is that natural? You are covering your natural hair with someone else’s or braiding someone else’s hair into your own.
While we are speaking of covering up, let’s talk about makeup and being natural. Many of the natural women that I know still wear makeup-how is that natural? To me natural means “natural”-not altered, treated, or disguised. Makeup is used to alter one’s appearance and to masks one’s blemishes as well as to enhance one’s beauty. Now I’m not criticizing anyone who chooses to be natural and wear makeup, nor am I criticizing anyone who decides to wear weave. Anyone who knows me knows that I love my weave, so by all means do you. All I’m saying is you cannot go around screaming I’m au-natural and pass judgment on another sista because she chooses the creamy crack when you both are altering your image in some kind of way. Now with that said women who are natural don't want to be told that their hair is ugly because they choose to be natural. There is beauty in both choices and we have to learn to respect other people’s choices.
As women, especially black women we must learn to uplift one another and stop bringing each other down. Let’s embrace our similarities and respect our differences.
“I am not my hair. I am not this skin. I am not your expectations no. I am not my skin. I am a soul that lives within. Does the way I wear my hair make me a better person? Does the way I wear my hair make me a better friend? Does the way I wear my hair determine my integrity? I am expressing my creativity. If I wanna shave it close. Or if I wanna rock locks. That don't take a bit away from the soul that I got. If I wanna where it braided all down my back, I don't see what’s wrong with that…” India Arie, I Am Not My Hair
Over the last several years I've seen more and more of sistas going natural, throwing away the creamy crack and embracing their natural curl and texture. Going natural can be difficult, trust me I know. I've attempted it almost ten times now and every time I relax my hair I swear it’s the last time. After seeing Chris Rock's “Good Hair” and seeing what relaxer can do to a Coke can and hearing the stories of what the caustic cream can do to one's scalp should be enough for anyone to stop using. However, it's just not that easy, having attempted and going as fair as cutting all my hair off I was successful only once and that was by default. Default because I was pregnant with my first child and I was told you cannot relax while you’re pregnant because the chemicals will hurt the baby. 9 years and two kids later I know that is not true.
I love that so many African American women are going natural. I can now go to websites to see beautiful African American women share tips on how to go natural. When I went natural over 9 years ago there were not many sites where one could go to get advice. However, if you now type “natural hair care” in your computer's browser hundreds of sites come up. I have several friends who are natural and if I have a question I know I can call, text, or Facebook them and ask. There are blogs about women who have recently begun their journey. They blog that first big chop to cut the relaxer out, the first wash with the natural hair, and even demonstrate how to use products, how to twist, loc, braid, and curl natural hair. And while it’s rare occasionally you may even see a natural sista in a video, in a commercial, or in a non-ethnic magazine.
While I love, cheer for, and even admire all the sistas who are going natural. I also understand that being natural is not something that all women want. There are those women who swear their natural hair is “much too thick, too curly, too unruly, or just too difficult” to deal with. Some women like me have gone natural by default or have gone natural but couldn’t find the right products. There are those women who say “I just like my hair straight and my natural hair would never get this straight” and therefore they faithfully relax their hair every 4-6 weeks. Whatever the reasons, these women like myself choose to relax.
I don’t care how you wear your hair, weave it til you achieve, sew it til you grow it, be happy to be nappy but please, please, please don’t judge another woman because she is not doing what you think is best. This is what makes us so wonderful and diverse. Many (NOT ALL) natural sistas want it to be known that they are natural and are eager to share their journey, while sharing that journey they like to tell you the dangers of the creamy crack. I wonder do they know that many (NOT ALL) sistas who choose to chemically relax their hair don’t really want to know what they are putting on their scalps. I wonder do they know that many of us know what’s in the cream, but really don’t care; we are only interested in getting our hair straight “by any means necessary.” And yes sometimes that means getting burnt and sometimes damaging our hair-we know all the possible outcomes and still choose to relax, why? Because it comes with the territory.
And while those of us who chemically relax may not want to hear about what danger lie inside the box of relaxer we also don’t want to be made to feel less black, less authentic, less accepted by natural sistas. Relaxing doesn’t mean that I hate myself or for some reason that I am trying be white. It only means that I want my hair straight. Now I’ve been to some of these natural sites and I’ve spoken to many women who choose to wear their hair natural. Many of these sites advise that while you are transitioning that it’s okay to wear a weave, wig, or braids-how is that natural? You are covering your natural hair with someone else’s or braiding someone else’s hair into your own.
While we are speaking of covering up, let’s talk about makeup and being natural. Many of the natural women that I know still wear makeup-how is that natural? To me natural means “natural”-not altered, treated, or disguised. Makeup is used to alter one’s appearance and to masks one’s blemishes as well as to enhance one’s beauty. Now I’m not criticizing anyone who chooses to be natural and wear makeup, nor am I criticizing anyone who decides to wear weave. Anyone who knows me knows that I love my weave, so by all means do you. All I’m saying is you cannot go around screaming I’m au-natural and pass judgment on another sista because she chooses the creamy crack when you both are altering your image in some kind of way. Now with that said women who are natural don't want to be told that their hair is ugly because they choose to be natural. There is beauty in both choices and we have to learn to respect other people’s choices.
As women, especially black women we must learn to uplift one another and stop bringing each other down. Let’s embrace our similarities and respect our differences.
“I am not my hair. I am not this skin. I am not your expectations no. I am not my skin. I am a soul that lives within. Does the way I wear my hair make me a better person? Does the way I wear my hair make me a better friend? Does the way I wear my hair determine my integrity? I am expressing my creativity. If I wanna shave it close. Or if I wanna rock locks. That don't take a bit away from the soul that I got. If I wanna where it braided all down my back, I don't see what’s wrong with that…” India Arie, I Am Not My Hair
12.21.2010
Never a Failure, Always a Lesson: 2010 in Retrospect
If 2009 was a year of commencement, 2010 would then be the conclusion. I came to the conclusion that I’m tired of crying, complaining, and being complacent. I came to the conclusion that no one else has the power to make me do something that I don't want to do. There were so many people who acted like weeds, destroying my beautiful garden. I had to pull weeds, but first I had to recognize that I allowed the weeds to grow. I never took the steps to stop them from growing so I was to blame. People are going to always do what you allow them to do. Since I was the source of the issue I had to end the expectation that people would give what I gave. See I think I’m a pretty good friend, I’m honest, trustworthy, fun to be around, giving, and caring-at least that’s how I see myself. However, I give all of that but sometimes I don’t feel it’s reciprocated. I had to realize that some people just weren’t able to give those things, not because they didn’t want to give those things but that’s just not who they are so I had to accept that. A few years ago I accepted that I was a beautifully flawed woman and this year I had to accept that these women were flawed as well, but maybe they hadn’t come to grips with their flaws. Anyway here are the 10 lessons I learned in 2010.
- Hindsight is 20/20, but I can’t change the past, nor would I want to because all of those things brought me to the place where I am today-ACCEPTANCE
- People outgrow one another; that does not mean that we love each other any less. It just means that our interests have changed. And while we may not kick it like we used to we can still be cool.
- People are going to do what I allow them to do. If I don’t like the way I am being treated I have to right and the ability to change that.
- Listen more and talk less.
- My version of what happened is my story it may contain some truth but it’s not necessarily “THE” truth. Everyone has their own perspective; respect all vantage points even if you disagree.
- Be quick to laugh and slow to criticize.
- "When people show you who they are, believe them." What other proof do you need?
- Do what you say you’re going to do, be it getting financially, emotionally, physically, or spiritually fit. People take you on your word.
- Learning can come at any time, in any place and from any one-even kids. Take time to listen to a child’s train of thought, you may learn to look at things from a different perspective.
- I will no longer bite my tongue. I will tell people how I feel on site, however, instead of getting good and "ignant" I will do it with more tact than I have in past years.
That is all for now.
God bless you all in the upcoming year and I hope you all take inventory for the stock you had over the last year.
Love, Live, Life
Nicole
12.01.2010
I'm A Pretty Colored Girl Who Rocks, But I'm At A Breaking Point With Today’s Music
Please watch the video before reading this note.
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xftvrw_keri-hilson-feat-rick-ross-y-the-way-you-love-me-clip_music
Let me say I anticipated the release of Keri Hilson's sophomore CD as I absolutely LOVED her last CD; the 2 latest singles LOVE them. Pretty Girl Rock is my ring tone and Breaking Point, what woman can't relate? However, this new song The Way You Love Me is doing WAYYYYY too much. After watching the video I felt as if I had just left a strip club and been slapped in the face by her vagina several times-did I mention she's doing WAYYYYY too much? The lyrics left me feeling verbally and sexually assaulted. Granted I am one person, but I am one person who now doubts the quality of her work as an artist. For the life of me I cannot understand why such a talented young woman feels the need to thrust her vagina which she refers to as "that kind of pussy that’ll keep you off the streets…” in a video or on a song.
How is this even considered music when she screams “…Fk me, fk me – it’s the way you fk me...” throughout the entire song, sounds a little desperate to me. If this is pillow talk maybe she should've left that talk in the bedroom. This is an R&B song and unfortunately it will get radio play, but will have many of the lyrics beeped out. I must say I love listening to music, especially when every other word is beeped out, filled with much sarcasim. Some things are just better left unsaid, or at least kept private.
You can be sexy without being slutty; you can be aggressive and confident and tell a man what you want from him without being self destructive and counter productive to young women or to yourself. This song as well as this video is tasteless and perhaps I wouldn’t care as much if I didn’t feel that she makes “good” music or if I were not a fan of her work, but I do and I was. After seeing Ms. Hilson on Black Girls Rock I must say I am disappointed and if this is any indication of how the rest of the CD will sound I am one (yes one) person who just may not buy it.
If she'll do all this to sell a CD what won’t she do? We have got to do better.
Signed,
A Colored Girl Who Rocks, But Is At a Breaking Point With Today’s Music
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xftvrw_keri-hilson-feat-rick-ross-y-the-way-you-love-me-clip_music
Let me say I anticipated the release of Keri Hilson's sophomore CD as I absolutely LOVED her last CD; the 2 latest singles LOVE them. Pretty Girl Rock is my ring tone and Breaking Point, what woman can't relate? However, this new song The Way You Love Me is doing WAYYYYY too much. After watching the video I felt as if I had just left a strip club and been slapped in the face by her vagina several times-did I mention she's doing WAYYYYY too much? The lyrics left me feeling verbally and sexually assaulted. Granted I am one person, but I am one person who now doubts the quality of her work as an artist. For the life of me I cannot understand why such a talented young woman feels the need to thrust her vagina which she refers to as "that kind of pussy that’ll keep you off the streets…” in a video or on a song.
How is this even considered music when she screams “…Fk me, fk me – it’s the way you fk me...” throughout the entire song, sounds a little desperate to me. If this is pillow talk maybe she should've left that talk in the bedroom. This is an R&B song and unfortunately it will get radio play, but will have many of the lyrics beeped out. I must say I love listening to music, especially when every other word is beeped out, filled with much sarcasim. Some things are just better left unsaid, or at least kept private.
You can be sexy without being slutty; you can be aggressive and confident and tell a man what you want from him without being self destructive and counter productive to young women or to yourself. This song as well as this video is tasteless and perhaps I wouldn’t care as much if I didn’t feel that she makes “good” music or if I were not a fan of her work, but I do and I was. After seeing Ms. Hilson on Black Girls Rock I must say I am disappointed and if this is any indication of how the rest of the CD will sound I am one (yes one) person who just may not buy it.
If she'll do all this to sell a CD what won’t she do? We have got to do better.
Signed,
A Colored Girl Who Rocks, But Is At a Breaking Point With Today’s Music
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