It’s funny when you begin to learn who you are, accept it and move closer to that person the more people you begin to lose. People are funny because they want the truth as long as it doesn’t affect them or their beliefs, or as long as they can continue to count on you to be who you’ve always been to them-and sometimes you’re the flaky friend who is always late, which gives them reason to excuse their own tardiness. I’ve learned so much about myself from the people I’ve had in my life this year.
With that said in no particular order here are the 10 things I am taking from 2013.
1. When you’ve begin to learn who you are and accept it there will ALWAYS be people not accepting of your change, simply because your change and your growth, sometimes means you’ve outgrown them/that relationship.
2. Some people like drama and not just in their lives. They create it, sit back and watch it unfold. All the while you are in pain and they are entertained so they keep the drama going for their pleasure.
3. Silence is sometimes the loudest and most important answer you’ll ever receive. So take those unanswered text message, emails, phone calls, and keep it moving.
4. When people love you, they love you. Their love sometimes takes 5-10 minutes out their day just to see if your situation has worked itself out.
5. If they can make time for others they can and will make time for you, if they want to.
6. Love is not supposed to hurt, but it’s not as pretty as movies make it look either. Sometimes that war that you are battling is showing you how much the other person loves you. Remember, we fight for what we love.
7. Most people have unreal expectations of relationships and love. They want you to do X, Y, Z after you’ve already done A-W and they’ve not even entertained the thought of doing A. If you can’t give it, please stop expecting it.
8. In regards to number 7. People will NEVER give as you give, so don’t expect their love to be the same as yours, but expect something-again remember their silence says a GREAT deal. There is a thin line between numbers 7 and 8.
9. My marriage, my kids, and my family are just important as any of yours. Even with all our flaws they’ve proven to be one, if not the only constant and stable fixture in my life.
10. Everything has a season, EVERYTHING. Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever. Some people are trees-stable and sturdy, but others are leaves: they bud, they deliver what they are meant to deliver and absorb what they are meant to absorb, they detach themselves or you detach yourself from them, they change and then they are gone away-giving back to the atmosphere. They find themselves being a part of this process in the lives of other people. We must allow ourselves to experience these seasons without sorrow, because it is merely life unfolding.
If our relationships fail it’s not the fault of one person, it is the fault of the people involved. Being in a relationship of any kind is work-HARD work and if the parties are not willing to work the relationships will fail. One person cannot keep a relationship thriving. It’s only fitting that this blog is titled Love and War, because I’ve been in love, at war or both during 2013.
God bless you all in the upcoming year and I hope you all take inventory for the stock you had in 2013.
© Nicole Williams, 2013
