Why is it that when summer comes the tops on cars go down and so do people’s inhibitions. What is it about heat that makes people lose a bit of common sense? In the summer time even your most conservative woman will put on an outfit that is inappropriate baring unsightly belly fat and unshaven arm pits.
When you know better you do better therefore I feel it is my duty to tell you what you not gone do is …
When you know better you do better therefore I feel it is my duty to tell you what you not gone do is …
10. Wear things that are meant to sleep in/lounge around the house out in public. I know I said pajama pants, head scarves, rollers, acne medicine, etc. but in the summer we must be sure to include slips, lingerie, bras and house shoes. Unless you have the body of a Victoria Secret runway model and are walking that catwalk leave your underwear under your clothes. This is an ALL SEASON RULE!
9. Wear a Brazilian cut string bikini and you have the body of a 12 year old boy or you look like Rasputia from Norbet. True there is somebody for everybody, but that does not mean there is a swimsuit for everybody. Just because your significant other likes to play connect the stretch marks when it’s you and he does not mean you have the right to put on a Brazilian cut string bikini. If you have a teacher’s pouch, wear the original mother jeans and they look like mother jeans on you, or your stomach looks like a road map YOU DON’T HAVE THE BODY TYPE THAT CAN WEAR A BRAZILIAN CUT STRING BIKINI. I can say this because I don’t have the body type to be in that type of bikini or any bikini for that matter. Yea, I know we are all beautiful in our own ways but know your limits and stay within them ladies.
8. Rock a 5o’clock shadow under your arms. If your armpits have a five o’clock shadow DO NOT wear any tank tops, sun dresses and or halter tops this summer. There’s waxing, electric shavers, Nair, razors, electrolysis so why in 2011 do we still have women walking around with stubble under their armpits. Oh and if you do not shave and you come out wearing the aforementioned just know people are going to stare so please do not get upset when that happens. And yes I know some people don’t shave for XYZ reasons but still people are going to stare, possibly point and may even question your hygiene. #IJS.
7. Wear Daisy Dukes if you have cottage cheese thighs, twigs for legs, or a donk that would put Nikki Minaj to shame. Now I know I will receive flack from all the men who appreciate a big butt and a smile in small shorts but seriously Daisy Dukes are NOT IN STYLE and they need to be placed to rest with jellies, midriff tops, and neon shorts with matching slouching socks. If you question whether your shorts are too short remember they should not look like underwear, if you are over the age of 12 and you recently purchased or made a pair of shorts the resemble underpants return them or give them to your younger sister. It’s 2011, the 90’s called they want their fad back.
For all my visual people
Unacceptable
Equally unacceptable
Acceptable
6. Not use lotion and walk around looking like a bed of limestone rocks. This goes for both men and women. For some odd reason when it gets hot people lose their minds. I’m not sure if because in the summer we sweat and therefore believe that our skin is somehow moisturized because of that but YOU STILL MUST USE LOTION, yes even in 90+ degree whether. Look, in the summer your skin should glow, you know look like it’s been kissed by the Sahara sun. If you get out the house and your skin resembles limestone there is a problem.
5. Not wear sunscreen. In regards to #6, not only does your skin need moisture in the summer you need sunscreen as well. BLACK people can get skin cancer too. We must protect our skin by wearing sunscreen. I hear you, “Black don’t crack, I look 5-10 years younger than my white counterparts, I have enough melanin, etc, etc, etc.” Just because it ain’t cracked yet doesn’t mean it won’t and keep going under the sun without sunscreen and see if your face doesn’t eventually start to look like a black snake skin bag. Just put it on!
4. Wear a tacky, tattered, unbeweaveable, or colorful weave. Again, this is an ALL SEASON RULE. However, in the spring/summer it seems like it gets worse. There is Memorial Day, the 4th of July, Labor Day and oh I cannot forget Easter when the women start rocking colorful looking Easter baskets on their heads. If your head looks like any of the following you need to be in a hair show and not walking the streets. These are EPIC fails!
SERIOUSLY!?!?
WHY?
IDIOT IS NOT EVEN GETTING PAID TO ADVERTISE, NOT THAT IT'S GOOD ADVERTISEMENT
YOU HAVE TO COORDINATE YES, BUT NOT WITH YOUR HAIR COLOR
You get the picture right?
3. Is wear socks with sandals. Look I know in the early 90s people used to wear the Jesus sandals (I’m sorry the name slips my mind right now) with socks and even then it was wrong. It is the summer the only time your feet should be covered is if you are wearing tennis shoes or your feet look like roadkill (see #1). Wearing socks with sandals even for a man is a mistake. If you wanna wear socks wear shoes NOT sandals. I don’t care if they are the Addidas or Nike slip on athletic sandals. You don’t look gansta, cool, or sexy you look like a grandpa! NO SOCKS WITH SANDALS EVER PERIOD!!!!!
2. Wear Uggs in the summer with shorts. Look I LOVE my Uggs and I did this the entire summer I was preggers but I looked FOOLISH and so will you. Say what you will but Uggs are boots. Boots are to protect your feet and legs from water, snow, and cold temperatures. Well unless it gets colder than 50 degrees this summer none of us should be seen rocking Uggs in the summer. If we don’t at least look foolish we look confused. Tank tops, shorts and Uggs…Hhmmmm make up your mind as to which season you want to be in.
*gives side eye and dares anyone to say something if they catch me in a moment of weakness rocking my Uggs, a tank top and a pair of shorts. CAUTION APPROACH AND SAY SOMETHING AT YOUR OWN RISK. I GET MUCH ATTITUDE IN THE HEAT, LOL!
1. Have dry, cracked, thirsty feet with brown toe nails and calloused heels. Look ladies it’s raining now but soon it will be PERFECT weather to show off our feet. Please DO NOT come out the house rocking FABULOUS sandals if your feet, heels, or ankles look like this:
Now I know that is a bit extreme but seriously there is no excuse for anyone to come out the house wearing exposed feet without proper pedicuration (yes I made that up). You don’t have to go to Mi Ling in order to get a perfectly pedicured foot either you can DIY. Just make sure that you soak your feet weekly to remove all dead skin, clip and trim and ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS moisturize at night, I prefer baby oil and then put on a soft pair of socks (footies) to sleep in, this locks moisture in, STOP wearing chipped toe nail polish and don't forget the cuticle oil daily or at least every other day.
In the words of Salt-n-Pepa “I know ain’t no body perfect. I give props to those that deserve it…” but we’ve got to do better. Please do not end up on Gladys and Victoria’s blog www.those2.com like a certain someone from a Day Party because you decided to be a rebel and go against the grain. Slow your role, dress appropriately and know your limits and all will be fabulous this summer.
LOVE, LIVE, LIFE!
Equally unacceptable
Acceptable
6. Not use lotion and walk around looking like a bed of limestone rocks. This goes for both men and women. For some odd reason when it gets hot people lose their minds. I’m not sure if because in the summer we sweat and therefore believe that our skin is somehow moisturized because of that but YOU STILL MUST USE LOTION, yes even in 90+ degree whether. Look, in the summer your skin should glow, you know look like it’s been kissed by the Sahara sun. If you get out the house and your skin resembles limestone there is a problem.
5. Not wear sunscreen. In regards to #6, not only does your skin need moisture in the summer you need sunscreen as well. BLACK people can get skin cancer too. We must protect our skin by wearing sunscreen. I hear you, “Black don’t crack, I look 5-10 years younger than my white counterparts, I have enough melanin, etc, etc, etc.” Just because it ain’t cracked yet doesn’t mean it won’t and keep going under the sun without sunscreen and see if your face doesn’t eventually start to look like a black snake skin bag. Just put it on!
4. Wear a tacky, tattered, unbeweaveable, or colorful weave. Again, this is an ALL SEASON RULE. However, in the spring/summer it seems like it gets worse. There is Memorial Day, the 4th of July, Labor Day and oh I cannot forget Easter when the women start rocking colorful looking Easter baskets on their heads. If your head looks like any of the following you need to be in a hair show and not walking the streets. These are EPIC fails!
SERIOUSLY!?!?
WHY?
IDIOT IS NOT EVEN GETTING PAID TO ADVERTISE, NOT THAT IT'S GOOD ADVERTISEMENT
YOU HAVE TO COORDINATE YES, BUT NOT WITH YOUR HAIR COLOR
You get the picture right?
3. Is wear socks with sandals. Look I know in the early 90s people used to wear the Jesus sandals (I’m sorry the name slips my mind right now) with socks and even then it was wrong. It is the summer the only time your feet should be covered is if you are wearing tennis shoes or your feet look like roadkill (see #1). Wearing socks with sandals even for a man is a mistake. If you wanna wear socks wear shoes NOT sandals. I don’t care if they are the Addidas or Nike slip on athletic sandals. You don’t look gansta, cool, or sexy you look like a grandpa! NO SOCKS WITH SANDALS EVER PERIOD!!!!!
2. Wear Uggs in the summer with shorts. Look I LOVE my Uggs and I did this the entire summer I was preggers but I looked FOOLISH and so will you. Say what you will but Uggs are boots. Boots are to protect your feet and legs from water, snow, and cold temperatures. Well unless it gets colder than 50 degrees this summer none of us should be seen rocking Uggs in the summer. If we don’t at least look foolish we look confused. Tank tops, shorts and Uggs…Hhmmmm make up your mind as to which season you want to be in.
*gives side eye and dares anyone to say something if they catch me in a moment of weakness rocking my Uggs, a tank top and a pair of shorts. CAUTION APPROACH AND SAY SOMETHING AT YOUR OWN RISK. I GET MUCH ATTITUDE IN THE HEAT, LOL!
1. Have dry, cracked, thirsty feet with brown toe nails and calloused heels. Look ladies it’s raining now but soon it will be PERFECT weather to show off our feet. Please DO NOT come out the house rocking FABULOUS sandals if your feet, heels, or ankles look like this:
Now I know that is a bit extreme but seriously there is no excuse for anyone to come out the house wearing exposed feet without proper pedicuration (yes I made that up). You don’t have to go to Mi Ling in order to get a perfectly pedicured foot either you can DIY. Just make sure that you soak your feet weekly to remove all dead skin, clip and trim and ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS moisturize at night, I prefer baby oil and then put on a soft pair of socks (footies) to sleep in, this locks moisture in, STOP wearing chipped toe nail polish and don't forget the cuticle oil daily or at least every other day.
In the words of Salt-n-Pepa “I know ain’t no body perfect. I give props to those that deserve it…” but we’ve got to do better. Please do not end up on Gladys and Victoria’s blog www.those2.com like a certain someone from a Day Party because you decided to be a rebel and go against the grain. Slow your role, dress appropriately and know your limits and all will be fabulous this summer.
LOVE, LIVE, LIFE!
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