Parents Just Don't Understand

Remember when parents used to be parents and not your ‘friends’? I remember when my mother and father told me to do something it meant not now, but RIGHT NOW. I moved-no questions asked and if I couldn’t remember exactly what I was told to me I would figure it out, because there was no way I wanted to go back to Gary or Gayle and ask “what did you tell me to do?” ADD/ADHD didn’t exist and ‘I forgot’ was not a good enough reason. Not doing something when and how you where told when I was a child was reason for an immediate beat down. However, it seems parenting these days has gotten extremely laxed. I hear kids in stores telling their mama what they ‘not gone do’, the kids at school don’t turn in homework because they didn’t want to do it, and the worst in my opinion are the kids who walk around dressed like mini Beyonces and Lil Waynes-these are children for Pete’s sake, they need our guidance not our friendship.

It’s sad that children have so much control over their lives during a time when they need to be taught how to not only develop but also manage their emotional, social, and cognitive abilities. Maybe I’m old school but I believe that a lot of this madness is because the parents are not only young but also a bit irresponsible themselves. How does one teach a child to stay in a child’s place if they themselves are children?

And I can’t tell who the mother is. Not because the mother looks young, because we all know black don’t crack and with lipo, collagen, and botox anyone can look 21. I can’t tell because now the mother and daughter both look like Nicki Minaj clones. When I was growing up and a mother walked into the school building you knew she was a mother, she not only dressed as one, but she carried herself completely different than that of a sixteen year old girl. Now I can’t tell, because both go out in public looking a hot ghetto mess. Remember Clair Huxtable? Now that was what mothers looked like when I was growing up “hair done, nails done, everything did,” but the mothers when I was growing up weren’t wearing junk nails, pink and blue colored weaves, and tiny t-shirts that read ‘I got that Good-Good.’

I empathize with the kids whose mothers should be cited for leaving the house dressing and acting inappropriately, because they are not allowed to be children. These parents, mainly their mothers (in my opinion) treat them like friends. These innocent children have no idea what their mothers are really doing to their psyche. At 6 you may not understand what is going on in that moment, but trust when you get older and begin to look back on your childhood memories you will most definitely remember and be embarrassed about that time when your mother came up to school with her head partially wrapped, crusted saliva still on the sides of her mouth, wearing pajama pants, no bra, Fuggs, and cursing out the classroom teacher with morning breath so bad that the teacher’s eyes begin to water. It’s not only embarrassing it’s inappropriate for a mother to come to their child’s school and act ignorant, way to set an example.

Speaking of inappropriateness, just because it was made in a child’s size does not make it okay for them to wear it. I hate to see little girls wearing knee high boots with a heel on them and mini-mini skirts with liquid leggings; it’s just not cute to me. The child can barely walk in flat shoes and you go and buy her a pair of boots with a heel on them, I don’t get it. The poor thing is still developing fine gross motor skills, you’re hindering her natural development. And liquid leggings and mini-mini skirts aren’t appropriate on most adults so why in the world are you dressing a child like that.

Heels, skirts, and liquid leggings are one thing because they can be taken off and don’t leave permanent marks on one’s skin. Now I can understand getting your daughter’s ears pierced when they are little-it’s a rite of passage in many countries, but getting them pierced 2/3 times I believe is not only ridiculous but also sad. Even if your 5 year old asked for a 2nd or 3rd that doesn’t mean that you agree to it. I also think the trend of little boys getting their ear pierced is wrong as well, but I have several friends who think otherwise, so who am I to judge, but I can have my opinion, can’t I?

All I’m saying is that when you become a parent some things have to change, you can walk around acting like a 16 year old if you want, and still do the things you did in college, but why would you want to? With age there comes a sense of entitlement, at least that’s how I feel. I had my son when I was 23 years old and while I wanted to kick it every weekend I knew he needed me as a mother more than I need to be at Bar Cincinnati or Have a Nice Day Café. I’m proud to be a mother and if that means no longer being able to go out every night and kick it at Martino’s, dancing on top of bars with my best friend then so be it.

Will Smith was right, parents just don't understand.

Love, Live, Life!