Okay call me ‘over protective’ my son may have been one of the last kids in the world to get a cell phone. However in my defense, what does a 9 year old need with a cell phone, I mean seriously. His dad and I take him every where he needs to go, are at all his practices/games, we have a home phone, and really what in the world does a 9 year old talk on the phone about? My son being the creative calculating (I mean that in the non-devious good way) kid that he is had every reason in the world as to why he “needed” a cell phone. He’d say “cell phones are cool, all of my friends already have cell phones, I’m the only one in the 4th grade without one, it would help me focus on school work because I wouldn’t have to talk in class-I could just tell my friends to call me on my cell phone after school.” He even gave some logical reasons such as, “it will allow me to call when I’m over a friend’s house, if you or dad have to leave practice and it ends early, or I can use it in an emergency.”
Now some of what my son said was true, cell phones are great for emergencies but most of his logic was that of a 9 year old and shaky at best. I mean seriously did he think I was buying a cell phone just because they are cool? Now all that having been said it seemed like every time I turned around something would happen that proved why he really did need a cell phone. Recently a story of a friend’s son in a terrible situation where no phone was available and him having to text his mother to come and get him out of that situation was the breaking point for me. Although my son would never be in a situation such as the one my friend’s son was in, it got me to thinking about other situations my son could be in where a cell phone would not only be helpful but possibly life saving. However, this is 2010 and not 1987; kids these days have a lot more to deal with than I did when I was 9. There is so much to worry about in regards to raising healthy, productive kids, intelligent that I didn’t want to add cyber bullying or sexting to my ‘Things to Worry About List’. While hesitant standing in line to get the phone on the eve of Christmas Eve, I conceded and got him a cell phone. Now anyone who knows me knows I am a stickler for rules and rules being followed. My son has a chore/homework chart which outlines the days and times chores/homework need to be finished, complete with incentives and consequences. So it was no different when it came to his cell phone and use of his cell phone. Below you will find the contract my son has regarding his cell phone use.
Cell Phone Contract
Now some of what my son said was true, cell phones are great for emergencies but most of his logic was that of a 9 year old and shaky at best. I mean seriously did he think I was buying a cell phone just because they are cool? Now all that having been said it seemed like every time I turned around something would happen that proved why he really did need a cell phone. Recently a story of a friend’s son in a terrible situation where no phone was available and him having to text his mother to come and get him out of that situation was the breaking point for me. Although my son would never be in a situation such as the one my friend’s son was in, it got me to thinking about other situations my son could be in where a cell phone would not only be helpful but possibly life saving. However, this is 2010 and not 1987; kids these days have a lot more to deal with than I did when I was 9. There is so much to worry about in regards to raising healthy, productive kids, intelligent that I didn’t want to add cyber bullying or sexting to my ‘Things to Worry About List’. While hesitant standing in line to get the phone on the eve of Christmas Eve, I conceded and got him a cell phone. Now anyone who knows me knows I am a stickler for rules and rules being followed. My son has a chore/homework chart which outlines the days and times chores/homework need to be finished, complete with incentives and consequences. So it was no different when it came to his cell phone and use of his cell phone. Below you will find the contract my son has regarding his cell phone use.
Cell Phone Contract
- Cell phone CANNOT be taken to school, used before homework/chores.
- All Contacts in the Phone Book must be approved by Mom or Dad
- No Phone calls/text messages after 9pm unless to mom/dad
- Your Plan has ___ minutes a month, this includes text messages.
- You will pay $___ for monthly minutes.
- No cell phone during any meals or during family time.
- You may not use the internet or send pictures through text messaging.
- If asked to turn off/stop playing/get off cell phone, must do so immediately.
- When at home you will only use the home phone instead of cell phone to make calls.
- When out with friends will always have cell phone with you and ‘on’ so mom and dad can reach you if needed. If mom/dad calls you MUST answer immediately. If you miss the call you MUST call back as soon as you realize mom/dad called. called.
- DO NOT answer calls or text messages from numbers not in ‘APPROVED’ contact list.
- If the phone is lost/stolen/damaged you will be responsible for buying a new phone, phones start at $29.
- Voicemail is to remain on the standard greeting and mom/dad will check ALL messages.
Consequences Phone privileges can be removed for a day up to a month (only to be used in an emergency).
- Phone will be taken away for the following reasons:
- grades fall below a “B” in any subject (this includes specials)
- phone is taken to school (unless approved by mom/dad)
- You do not complete chores/homework
- sends a picture message/gets on the internet/sends inappropriate text messages
Trial period and Reevaluation of privileges
- This is a 3-month trial period, if all rules are followed for thirty days, mom and dad may reevaluate contract and increase the number of minutes.
- This contract will be reevaluated every six months as you get older to possibly receive additional phone privileges.
Signing this contract means you agree to and will follow all rules above.
______________________________________________ ______________
______________________________________________ ______________
Now this is my way of protecting my son against possible dangers/threats when it comes to using a cell phone at such an early age as well as teaching him responsibility while adding a sense of security and convenience for his dad and me. Some may believe having a contract is over-kill, but I look at my son’s safety as the #1 priority as should all parents and setting these parameters will help him to see that.
What’s good for the goose is not always good for the gander so do what works for you. I believe all children need to be reminded daily on parental expectations, I just don’t believe in beating into my son. I write it, we discuss it, sign it, and post it. If rules are broken we go back to it and I ask what he didn’t understand and consequences follow. Children must be held accountable but if they forget (as they will) what they are being held accountable for whose to blame the child or the parent? If they can see it everyday then they know and there are NO excuses because they knew the consequence ahead of time. Whether that consequence is a good old fashion 'spanking' (trying to be politically correct), loss of video game, television, or phone privileges that's up to the parent, but whatever it is let the punishment fit the crime.
Whatever you choose to do in regards to getting your child a cell phone, please do some research on the phone and the company and talk to your child about your expectations.
Love, Live, Life
Nicole
Love, Live, Life
Nicole
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