Loving You

Was talking with a friend the other day and then today I read a few status updates on Facebook that had to deal with relationships ending. Many of these statuses had the woman questioning what she may have done wrong. Now I’m not naive and I know that this woman may have been at fault, but here lately I’ve noticed that way too many women are getting down about a man who was not down for them to begin with. I was reading and came across this quote from Toni Morrison. It pretty much sums up what I would love to tell some of my friends and just women in general. Toni Morrison hit the nail on the head with this one.

"You think because he doesn't love you that you are worthless. You think that because he doesn't want you anymore that he is right -- that his judgment and opinion of you are correct. If he throws you out, then you think you are garbage. You think he belongs to you because you want to belong to him, don't. It's a bad word, 'belong.' Especially when you put it with somebody you love. Love shouldn't be like that. Did you ever see the way the clouds love a mountain? They circle all around it; sometimes you can't even see the mountain for the clouds. But you know what? You go up top and what do you see? His head. The clouds never cover the head. His head pokes through, because the clouds let him; they don't wrap him up. They let him keep his head up high, free, with nothing to hide him or bind him. You can't own a human being. You can't lose what you don't own. Suppose you did own him. Could you really love somebody who was absolutely nobody without you? You really want somebody like that? Somebody who falls apart when you walk out the door? You don't, do you? And neither does he. You're turning over your whole life to him. Your whole life, girl. And if it means so little to you that you can just give it away, hand it to him, then why should it mean any more to him? He can't value you more than you value yourself." ~ Toni Morrison

A man that loves you will allow you to be who you are, doing what you do. He will not try to change that. Too many of us, women, are too consumed with being in a relationship that we are not 'being' who we want to be. We cut our hair for our man because he likes it short; we lose weight because he says we’re too big, we don’t go out with our girlfriends because he says we kick it too much. I’m married and I’ve done it as well. Many of us whether we are married or just dating are in love with being in love-we want the fairytale. In love with being in love so much that we give too much of ourselves and when the relationship comes to an end, there is nothing left for us-essentially we lose ourselves in our men. We have to STOP doing what someone else wants us to do and START being who we want to be. A man can't love you if you don't love yourself.

Remember “you are a human being, not a human doing!” ~ Unknown

Think about it!

Love, Live, Life!

Nicole