The Front Row Seat of Your Life

I was such a trustworthy person. I used to trust first and hurt later because I did not allow time to show me where to place people in my life. I was always passing out front row tickets and VIP backstage passes for all to have an exclusive role in my life. I always thought of myself as a GREAT judge of character, and still believe that I am, but when people would show me who they REALLY were, I tended to give them the benefit of the doubt instead of taking that as their truth. Not anymore, over the last 2 years I began taking inventory of my relationships. If I noticed this person was always causing drama, not valuing our friendship/the things I did for them or was just plain NEGATIVE, I began loving them from the balcony and not the front row. Some people even had their tickets refunded at the door.

My life is much too precious and those that are in my life for the long haul deserve more of my time. Some of these relationships were draining and the jealousy and negativity had such an impact on my life that I decided it was time to make changes. Here is something I found on the internet a while back and is the source of my TOTD today.

"Life is like a theater, so invite your audiences carefully. Not everyone is holy enough and healthy enough to have a FRONT ROW seat in our lives. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.

It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you let go, or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships, friendships, fellowships, and even family!!!

Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention to: Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones give and take and which ones only take, take? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are just going downhill or just standing still???

When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse?

Which ones always have drama or don’t really understand, know, and appreciate you and the gift that lies within you? The more you seek God and the things of God, the more you seek quality, the more you seek not just the hand of God but the face of God, the more you seek things that are honorable, the more you seek growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the FRONT ROW and who should be moved to the BALCONY of your life.

You cannot change the people around you…but you can change the people you are around! Ask God for wisdom and discernment and choose wisely the people who sit in the FRONT ROW of your life. Remember that FRONT ROW seats are for special and deserving people and those who sit in Your FRONT ROW should be chosen carefully.

Everyone does not deserve a front row seat in your life. Sometimes you will find that your front row seats are empty, but that does not mean that you don't have any friends or wonderful relationships, it just means that those special seats are reserved for special people."

Author Unknown

~ Love You!

My year in review. What I learned in 2008

1. Put you first! Never allow someone else to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option!
2. Only keep the necessities! Remember the only people you need in your life are the ones that prove you need to be theirs!
3. Do Not down play yourself! You are a work in progress, keep striving each day to be a better you. Be sure of your ability to do what is necessary to improve your life.
4. Speak now or forever hold your peace! "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
5. Take charge! Either choose to stay in the passenger seat and allow someone else to guide your life or get behind the wheel and follow your own path, but whatever you do, do not be a backseat driver.
6. Count your blessings! Remember there is no such thing as a "series of unfortunate events, our blessings always come in between our misfortunes-this is how we survive and can hope for a better tomorrow."
7. Activate your life! Set in motion those things in which you plan to accomplish. Dream big; accomplish one great thing one day at a time.
8. Live Life Abundantly! Change your thinking to change your life. Inspire, encourage, and uplift yourself. Share your knowledge with as many people who will listen.
9. Live in the Moment! What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment and you should "be happy for this moment, because this moment is your life."
10. Just do you! "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind

A New Black Identity

Many question whether or not Obama's ride to the White House as President Elect will change how Black America feels about itself. Whether or not we will drop Black or African and simply be called 'Americans'. I have my doubts, because race is so prevalent in the U.S.A. Will we as a nation of ignorant yet educated and educated yet ignorant citizens ever find a common ground? Will there always be a bone to pick about something? Will we ever find a common ground, something that makes us so much more alike than we are different? Truth be told we are more alike than we are different, we are all conceived, born, we all eat, sleep and drink to live, we all bleed blood, have emotions and we have all cried, and in the end we will all die someday. We do not come into this world kicking and screaming our racial identity. Society placed labels on us just because of who our parents are and we just continued to check the box as we applied to colleges, for jobs and took part in senseless surveys.

This election proved that there was no 'Bradley Effect'. Forty-four percent of Caucasians, which is more than John Kerry, Al Gore or even Bill Clinton exit polls show, voted based on politics and not color.

I was talking to a friend who is bi-racial today. He was upset that Obama made the 'Mutt' comment and stated that he was disappointed in his choice of words. I too was disappointed in his choice of words, not because it offended me, but because it placed the focus on race. While it was said with an ease and he did not walk on egg shells, it was still again about race. I asked him, "when will we move pass the race issue and start focusing on what we can do to unite the US?" His reply, "I cannot believe he would categorize an entire race of people as mutts!" Look in some shape, form or fashion we are all mutts, there I said it. None of us, not one of us, is 100% anything. And we have America to thank for that! I am proud to be an African American woman, and yes sometimes it can be a obstacle but I cannot change who I am, nor do I want to. My point is does race have to be something that continues to handicap us?

Should we take the boxes off of the applications and just put American? Should Black/African Americans want to be just American now? Should bi-racial people stop straddling the fence and just be American too? How can we end the racism in American if we still want to be called American Indian, African American, or Chinese American? Do we make ourselves more different when we add our race-American? The answer as an article puts it, used to be simple: because a race-obsessed society made the decision for us. But as of November 5th will African Americans be expected to change their identity? Will HBCUs close their doors just because Obama is the 44th President? Will organizations such as the NAACP fight for all Americans and not just African Americans? Will the UNCF support all races in their dream to go to college? Since the dream of having a Black President has now become a reality will Essence, Ebony and Jet still focus on Black America or will it expand its horizons? Before Tuesday, November 4th, black identity and community were largely rooted in the shared experience of the struggle - real or perceived - against a hostile white majority. However, Obama won, and we know that 12-13% of African Americans did not do this alone, so is there still a hostile white majority? These are some of the questions I hear in the grocery store, in the teacher's lounge at school and via text messages and emails.

Certainly racism did not disappear after Obama's white votes were counted. No one is claiming that black culture and pride and community are no longer valuable. Many also dismiss the idea of a "post-racial" America as long as blacks and other minorities are still disproportionately afflicted by disparities in income, education, health, incarceration and . But white groups that once faced discrimination, such as the Italians, Jews and Irish, have moved from the margins to the mainstream. So why not Black America?

Should Black Americans change their identity to become part of the mainstream?

My opinion for what it is worth is that we don't need to somehow change our identity to move past the race issue. I think that we can move past the race issue and still call ourselves Black/African American. I think taking away the race-American makes it seem like we are not proud to be Black/African-American. I wonder do people think that since President-Elect Obama will be our 44th President that racism all of a sudden will just end? It's alarming the conversations that I have had since his being elected.

I also do not believe that a title such as Black/African American defines a whole group of people. Because yes, I look black to most people but I am so much more than that and being Black/African American does not classify who I am. I have Indian, white and AFrican ancestry. I think in terms of race having a title only places us in a group of which others can identify us, because usually we are more than just African American, but do I want to take it away? NO. It's funny because my dad used to say that if someone does not like you because of your race then they truly have not gotten to know you. I was a hard child to deal with, LOL. He said there are so many other reasons why a person could choose to either love or hate a you. I guess he thought that if we got to know one another a little better we would see that race was not a good enough reason not to like someone.

I'm opposed to changing my identity on so many levels. I think we need to continue to work on us as a people. I think Obama's being elected is a great start and provides a visual to the new generation of young minorities that YES WE CAN do anything we set our minds to, but his being elected does not eradicate the problems that we have faced or will face. We have to start with educating ourselves and others.

Link to the article that provided some of the inspiration for this blog. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081108/ap_on_re_us/obama_black_future